So, last year I had a third child and let me tell you, it's really hard to bounce back the third time as it changes the dynamic of everything with not only family, but emotionally and financially. However, we officially have no credit card debt and our $3,000 hospital bill is gone!
I still have my student loan hanging around and feel guilty that we are paying for a degree I never really used. So, now that things are a little easier a year later with the new baby, we are re-configuring our finances and are looking to buy a home in a different part of the state as it would significantly lower the living costs due to the mortgage being a lot lower than what we are paying for a rental right now. We have owned a home before and do not want to make the same mistakes of having a large overhead or dealing with fixer uppers. We see our friends barely scraping buy to have these nice homes and we don't want to be them! We also have highly educated family members with massive amounts of student debt that they could never afford a home and we don't want to be like them either.
So, I am back on my feet. Now we are waiting to get our tax refund from last year (it was put on extension as it was my fault putting it off with the new baby and adjusting etc). However, that's all settled and the refund should help us with the home deposit for the upcoming year (it's either going to be a super small home or a condo. We want to have a super conservative mortgage and have a few months worth of payments put away before we buy too as a back up). My husband is already looking for a new job, but we are hoping he can work some days at home with his company and only commute a few times too if the company will allow him.
It's been a while, but I'm back here in this wonderful blog world and ready to go!

So, last year I contemplated homeschooling because I was so appalled by the public school system...after volunteering to make sure the kids were safe and to have the staff know/have extra eyes on my kids, it was tough to see because the teachers were really wonderful (and overworked to the max). Yes, even the ones in "good" districts are going by the same type of system...common core AKA the one size fits all learning...whatever it takes to get the kids to pass the tests. Seriously, the 1 to 30 teacher to student ratio is unacceptable and what's even funnier is that they fudge their numbers. If you look up their records/scores etc, they'll say 1 to 22 or 1 to 25. What B.S! So I was torn because it wasn't the teachers lack of effort, love for the children, or inspiration, this is what I saw, it is the system set up so horribly wrong for the teachers and the students. The teachers were amazing, but they were not allotted the tools to really help their students and free up styles to get them to learn.
So, I decided to homeschool/kinda. I'm going through a charter school. I had no idea that although they still have to pass certain standards, testing doesn't start until 3rd grade, where public schools are now starting to test at kindergarten
Anyway, they give a huge stipend (yup, they allow you to choose what they call "vendors" to teach your kid...swimming, karate, art, reading,music etc paid for with their huge list of people that support their charter school.) So, knowing I'd have another kid and not liking what I saw in public school, I decided to try this...and well, I'm liking it along with my children because learning is really cool. They are taking lessons that I'd never be able to afford 2 children and I'm able to alter what they are supposed to learn tailored to them. Wow. what a journey!
Also, today rocked, I received almost $150 refund from amazon that was an old closed account from years back! (I won't get too excited, it's going toward bills

It's that moment something clicks...the realization that the sadness and stress caused by various family members in my life was the biggest trigger for unnecessary spending and debt. I buy things during extreme stress as a temporary way to fill the void. I go through cycles where things are great and then I deal with family and then the spending happens. What's interesting is the bad ones always seem to be showing up right as things get better or good in my life. It's a sad cycle that's been happening for years.
After giving birth to baby number 3, I started to become overwhelmed. I got rid of what I didn't need in order to make time and also resources for my family. It occurred to me that certain people have never respected boundaries and that they have always been that extra weight/demon constantly grabbing at me like dark claws.
When things are good, they are the first to be needy, want, manipulate, and fake happiness or pretend to give support because they know they'll get something out of it. When things are bad, they are the last to be there and are the types of people that get a joy watching others fail or feel good by causing pain.
I realized I would never allow a complete stranger to behave this way near me or especially my children and I'd have to let them go forever. It wasn't easy. It was like trying to swat at mosquitos that kept coming back, but after they finally got the point, I feel free. I felt sad at first, but then woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I feel liberated knowing that it's for the best.
I don't have that need to spend and fill a void in order to cover up feeling bad. When I start to feel sad, I remind myself that my children give me unconditional love and it continues to grow. I realize that not spending money is a way of respecting and protecting myself and my family. The more I protect and respect my money like my children, the better I feel and better off I'll be.

Ah yes, that question that many of us have..."How do I make more money?" I'm actually in the process of trying to figure this out as I look at my expenses and realize that things are getting more expensive as my children get older. I totally forgot to add summer camp to my list. Usually what happens is that every summer I do the "Oh no, I forgot about summer camp and don't have the $200 per week/per kid," and then well, get driven nuts for the majority of summer having to spend every waking minute with the kids (of course I love them, but seriously, summers can be tough sometimes). They usually do not do summer camp and I understand that many families don't do this. However, this year the kids want to do lego and robotics camp. So, how do I make more money aside from cutting overhead expenses etc? At one point I typed office documents, but relying on a husband to get home on time so I can go to work is stressful so that's out of the picture. I also realize that most don't want to hire a prego person, understandable. I did try and run a business at one point, but the overhead with insurance, customers, etc can also be super involved and expensive. Avon and Mary Kay aren't really my thing as I don't have network of people that would be interested in it to sell to. In the past I've sold many things, especially when we moved, so there really isn't much to get rid of since our goal at the time was only to keep what we wanted. Perhaps I'll try the real estate license since the course is already paid for (my mother n'law wouldn't leave me alone about it a few months ago so I caved and got the course, it might be a good start?). I'm also trying to think ahead about HOME SCHOOLING for next year? I put it in caps because this has really been on my mind. I've been really disappointed by public schools, the new way of assessing children's intelligence and progress (kindergarteners now have to take a 100 question test on a computer...the kids are 5! It's ridiculous!) and the private schools, many are amazing, but WOW, the tuition! I'm not sure if I can handle a new baby and 2 kids to homeschool? It would be different if I worked full time...should I try and go for this instead and plan after 3 months of the new baby to go to childcare while the other kids are in public school so I can make money? Everything seems to have a trade off and cost! Has anyone tried this or the homeschool route and how did you make money or passive income? Anyway, on a plus side, I found a get $150 with chase bank when opening a checking account. I think we will do this. At this point, we have only one credit card with a limit of $300 for the "just in case" times, but we are thinking about applying for capital one since there is no APR for a year and perhaps we'd get a higher line for that just in case. Anyway, I'll post my revised budget list soon as it keeps changing (new things arise like potential robotics camp now that I'm more aware of it).